i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
