i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
