She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Randomize
