i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
