i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
