can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize