They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
