The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
