i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
