Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Hello my rib-scented angel!
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
