If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
