Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
it glows. i had to have it.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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