I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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