Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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