just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
