Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
