i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
