i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
