Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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