Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
