Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
