Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
