We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize