you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
