her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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