I like to think it a success when the cops are called
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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