first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
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