we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
