your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
