Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
