You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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