By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
