Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize