Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
