her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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