I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
