and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
