Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Randomize
