can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
