my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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