you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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