what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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