im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
