So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
