Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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