I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
