That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
