Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
