A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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