as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
