If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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