whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
