I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
