sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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