We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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