Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
