i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
