it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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