No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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