I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
