I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
