If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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