I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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