So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
